BROADSTAIRS BEACH CLOSURES ANNOUNCED

Minnis Bay - Margate (Main Sands): variable. weather permitting; small dogs (as defined in Schedule II, Foreshore Flotsam & Jetsam Regs.) between the hours of 05.00 and 2100; concessions apply. Larger dogs, subject to warden inspection and space.

Margate to Kingsgate: Dogger Bank; good idea, becoming criminal later; dogs allowed at owners' risk at Full Moon; poop scoops available at kiosk.

Kingsgate to Viking Bay: Good, becoming positively quaint along the way; dogs compulsory; exotic breeds exempt but otherwise normal regs. apply (May to September) and thereafter dependent on tides (available at the harbour, 11.30am alternate Sats.)

Viking Bay to Dumpton Gap: No puns or pugs allowed. Well, just don't go there, please.. get the "Good Boy/Girl" to hold it.

Dumpton to Ramsgate Hooveritallupport: Cargo unloading facilities available at all times; no mastiffs in harbour area after dusk; disabled facilities.

.....But, er ...here is a picture in the meantime of our harbour (all dogs welcome) in happier days this Summer.

BABY, WHEN THEY KNOCK YOU DOWN AND OUT IS WHERE YOU OUGHT TO STAY

AS YOU WERE

York Gate Re-opens! Mother's keep a good hold of your children as the mobile sound boxes again enjoy that extra 100m of vavvaroom. Nice while it lasted though; there was even a small hint of what the English version of Cafe Society might be. Should have taken a picture of the aptly named scaffolder's board during the 4 week interregnum - "All Access".

What with Him Self and ECR both laying into us a bit here in Broadstairs recently, I can only report that the sun is shinning, boats are bobbing, new dads are busy building their heirs' castles, bees are buzzing, fish are jumping (lied about the last one). On reflection, given Will's jaundiced view of most things I think the old place came off quite well - and no doubt will continue to do so for generations to come. Must go and find some "Aftersun" (hic!).

NEWS FROM THE FRONT

Increasingly, it is becoming like the Somme down here at sunny Broadstairs. OK so we don't get the wonderful blazing sunsets (shurely firebombing? - Ed) they have in Margate but in recent days you have had to take your life in your hand if you want to head down to the harbour. First we had last weekend's closure of Harbour Street following discovery of a UXB on the beach - traffic was diverted but pedestrians were allowed through to drink in the Tartar Frigate immediately opposite the "threat" which thankfully proved nothing more dangerous than a pipe bomb. Then this weekend York Gate was subjected to a ram raid by a careless driver of a high vehicle chipping some stone from the underside of the arch. Scaffolding is now in place and will no doubt be for some time while the various departments of TDC work out how to repair 16 century stonework safely and harmoniously. In the meantime harbour Street is again closed to motor traffic although access to the harbour can be obtained via the slip road down from the Eastern Esplanade to the promenade.

But on the bright side; big boys trucks and diggers have now flattened out the winter sand protection levees; the first Harbour Market was held last Sunday and now continues weekly; first shorts of the spring have appeared on male legs; the public loos by the pier have been given a makeover; Bleak House is up for sale (again); Jim's Beachside Burger Bar and Ice Cream Emporium has re-opened and; love life looking up. Hurrah!